I feel like I've led two lives this week. The beginning of the week felt like "hurry up and wait." I've been so anxious to go to Boston. So anxious to hear what the specialist there has to say. So worried about chosing between the two and so impatient wanting to simply pick one and get this over with.
Now, at the end of the week, it's all moving so quickly. In the last two hours, I've received my lab results, got a phone call from Kristin at the cancer office, an e-mail from Dr. Goldstein - the original doctor in Boston, then just got off the phone with Dr. Evans urging me to get the tumor taken out sooner rather than later. The bloodwork was bad.
Three weeks ago, my beta hCG registered a 0.07 - damn close to 0.00. I didn't have my blood draw the week of our anniversary, but went back to the lab last week. It had gone up to a 2.2. Kristin tried to keep me from flipping the F out by saying 2 is still considered "normal." Well there's nothing normal about the shit living rent free in my uterus!
Today's level: 5.3!! Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? If this continues, at some point I'm going to need chemo again. Really this just confirms the fact that the tumor is still active. Even after repeated courses of 5-drug chemotherapy that tumor has the audacity to be spreading cancer again. How rude.
So it is with great speed that I hope we get to Boston, get a second opinion, get on a surgeon's schedule and get that little fucker cut out. While I'm so desperate to have a baby in my uterus, right now I just wish my uterus was empty. Hopefully a good doctor with great hands can get us there.
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