It Takes a Village

I'm not a big Hillary Clinton fan, but the Secretary of State might be right on this one. It does take a village ... if not to raise a child, at least to get through Cancer. Given a village of my own, I always thought there's a chance I could be the Idiot. But it turns out my village is so kind no one would call me the Village Idiot ... at least not to my bald face!

So so so so so many people have helped, are helping, continue to offer to help, are looking for some way to help. I'm so overwhelmed by the generosity of people who are really very, very busy and have their own lives to worry about. Every time I hit the mailbox there are wonderful and hysterical cards. My friend Todd who I know from work and his family took a break from the hysterical get well cards they've been sending and went with the Easter theme. He double dog dared me to put this one on the blog. I don't easily bend to dares ... but this card had me in stitches ... so me and my two dogs (double dog) are taking the dare.

"Wowee," thought Myrtle, "Somewhere there's a chicken with a really sore vajyajya!"
ONLY in America can you get a greeting card with the word vajayjay on it! Classic! Thanks Todd and fam!

This sickness sucks, but the cards are so great! It's like better than Christmas card season or even Wedding RSVP season! When we were engaged, I loved nothing more than going to the mailbox to see who cleared their schedule to come to our wedding and reply with a resounding YES and who was going to miss the event of the year ... their loss. I still saved all the Yeses with the fun notes from people. I'm a pack rat, and some day I will sit down and go through all those response cards and remember who loved us!

It's the same with these cards. It's like a little ray of sunshine every time I get an envelope. People write the funniest stuff too ... not a single card has been blue or depressing ... all upbeat and perky which helps keep me that way.

When Jackie came to visit she helped me hang some of the cards. After stringing up dozens of them, she took a step back, looked at the loot and said in her perfect Jackie way, "Geez, if only people weren't so damn selfish and they would just send you a card!" Sarcasm has always suited her!!

Can you see the one front and center with the large man playing golf on the beach that says, "Geez, I hope this visor doesn't make me look fat!" Kills me every time!!

Jackie's sense of humor is another ray of sunshine. Through two bouts of cancer and other unfortunate situations, Chris and I have cancelled about 25 vacations over the last couple of years. We had grand plans for Mexico with the Salvos, we were headed to Puerto Rico when we had a work conflict, three weeks ago we should have been in Antigua. Check out where we would have stayed. Better than Lancaster?? Um, yes! Blue Waters, Antigua But in grand Jackie fashion, she provided us with some sunshine alternatives:

Fun in the Sun Activity book! Complete with our friends already the beach! That's Stephen on the surf board. Ben is in a boat inside, even Tracy, Action Jackson and New Baby Noah are on our tropical adventure!

Let's be honest, when you need a good laugh, you need a village full of funny people. Thanks for being my village!

There's something about feeling effective

Wearing the wig needs an attitude. Today, I have that attitude. I put it on this morning, ran my fingers through it and then winked at myself in the mirror. Every time I felt like it was a groundhog on my head, I thought of that sass. That makes all the difference.

I did a lot of sitting last week. I didn't even try to not sit. I have a list of things I can do: Continue to hang all the wonderful Get Well Cards, organize our DVD's, pair all the unpaired socks, file the bills instead of letting them pile up in one spot for 12 months. There's always plenty to do. But I just did nothing.

My first reaction to that lethargy is disgust. I would like to accomplish something. I don't feel like I've earned my spot on this planet if I can't produce something meaningful. It's like a weight on my shoulders, a guilt I can't shake. But I'm so tired. So I just sit.

In my sitting ... and my wonderful, non-stop talking with Ashley ... I came to one rationalization. Wednesdays and Thursdays are big days. The chemo is important. It's killing the cancer beautifully. But while I put a lot of importance on the actual infusions, that's just getting the poison in there. After I leave the chemo room, the drugs are still pumping through me, hunting down those nasty little cancer cells. It's that micro-biological battle that's probably making me so tired. If there's a world war going on inside your body, you should probably just lay down and let the sides duke it out. Don't give the chemo any more work to do by organizing the house paints while the drugs are trying to shrink tumors. At least that's what I came up with. So I sat.

It's been wonderful to be back at work on Monday and Tuesday. If I'm not a great journalist, at least I'm a prolific journalist. When operating at 100%, I can turn a package, two vo-sots and a live shot or two with no problem. Now, I'm thrilled to get one interview done. I'm not as speedy but I'm still as dedicated to producing something worthwhile at work. It gives me a sense of value and I like that.

You know what else gives me value?? Hysterical presents like this one ... from Jeannette. Wait till I should you the leather one!!

What better to accent your noggin' than a feather headband??

It just HAD to be windy!

I'm back at work today and I'm so happy to see all my friends. I try to be as least dramatic as possible when I walk in, but everyone is so nice and asks how I am doing and says my hair looks good, so it's a little dramatic. I don't necessarily believe the hair part. I'm wearing the shaggy wig and it simply feels ridiculous. It's feels like a high, furry hat. And the bangs are sticking me in the face. I think if it was real hair I wouldn't mind the hair in my face so much. It's just that it's a little prickly and it feels unnatural.

This is the look after I walked to my car in the 60 mph wind. Not my best look!

On top of feeling a little self conscious, it's a blustery mess out today! Like really pretty damn windy! So on top of feeling like there's a raccoon on top of my head, now I'm worried about it flying off! I wish there was a hidden camera watching me as I play with the wig. I must look like a spastic idiot with a tic of some sort.

Cancer: Take 1 With Hair was a whole lot easier than Cancer:Take 2 Without Hair.

I'm thrilled to be back in a routine though. The routine of being in the hospital is boring. Despite the wonderful programming we provide at News 8, most television is simply awful. (ie: Ice Loves Coco) I have been laying low at home for the last three days. Friday I didn't even turn on the TV because I couldn't stand it anymore. That's saying something. Now I can dive in on the 37 books I have on my bedside stand.

Did I mention the de ja vu factor of the hospital stay? Same room as 2009. During Cancer 1, I started writing a book about all the funny shit that happened. I never did anything with it - probably because God knew there were would a Volume 2. But I went back to it a found the part about that hospital room.

Here's the except:

"Last time I was in the hospital, I had a great view of the cemetery. It was a good reminder: "If you don't make it here, we'll just put you there." This time though, the view from my room was pretty non-descript - another wing of the hospital, I could see about 10 windows from my hospital bed. It didn't take long to notice the lights were on at all hours on the night in the wing across the way. Sometimes the lights would flick on and off really fast. Odd. The next morning I found out - that is the psych ward. Again: "If you don't make it here, we'll just put you there."

It snowed while I was in the hospital. I was on a heavy morphine drip for a couple of days, so things are fuzzy. But I distinctly remember looking out the window and noticing the snow flakes were falling UP. The nurse said it wasn't the morphine, it was a weird wind tunnel created by the two wings of the hospital. I can imagine what the patients in the psych ward thought about the rising snow flakes."

At least it didn't snow this time.

Nothing but sunshine this time! Of course, it was sunny and 75 while I was trapped inside!

My Throne. Note the French Fries on the table. My appetite is just fine!

I was running a small florist in my room! I loved it!! So beautiful and it smelled wonderful too. Nothing like some gerber daisies and roses to take the cold edge off a hotel room!