Well, I say this only to explain how absolutely lazy I have now become. There are some people who say put your make-up on every day, regardless of chemo or hospitalization or how you actually feel. I can understand their urging. I have chosen not to do that.
There are several reasons I'm going au natural. First, it's easier. Cancer is hard enough, I'm taking the easy way out. Second, I barely leave the house. Who am I going to see? And for the poor unfortunate souls who come to see me, they have to look at my regular face. Third, it hurts. My eyes at least. The chemo affects a lot of mucosal membranes, which is why my mouth and the lining of my stomach hurt a lot. Well, your eyes are wet too. When I'm on chemo, my eyes are sensitive and red. They get irritated very easily and make-up only makes it worse. I haven't lost my eyelashes or my eyebrows. Put that in the plus column. The eyelashes are a little thinner, but let's be honest, at this point I would glue dog hair to the lids just so it looked like there was something there. That's probably not my best look though. So just like that, I've rationalized no make-up.
It doesn't stop there though. I've realized there are a lot of things I've stopped doing. Some for good reason, others for laziness, others just because I'm out of my routine. At first, I thought that when I lost my hair I would rock some really great hoops. Big earrings for a big bald head. Absolutely not. I looked retarded. Totally ridiculous. If I think of it, I'll do an earring fashion show and snap some pics. Not a good look for me. So I downgraded (if you can even call it that :-) to diamonds! Chris bought me perfect studs for our wedding and I usually wear them in second hole in my ear. I moved them up, thinking diamonds are classic and they'd look fine. They looked beautiful, but I quickly realized how much it hurts to have metal poking into the side of your head at night. With hair, the posts of all earrings are buffered a bit. With this shiny noggin' there was nowhere for the posts to go but straight into my skull. After about a week of bad sleep, I ditched the diamonds and earrings all together.
Thong underwear. I'm a fan. Typically. Years ago I decided as a semi-attractive person who wears suit pants each day, I could rock a thong on a daily basis. I don't typically find it uncomfortable or annoying. Very used to the dental floss between my ass cheeks by now. Until cancer that is. I have had two uterine surgeries and plenty of ass problems (see several previous posts) and thong underwear is a thing of the past. It just has to be that way. So instead of graduating to semi-normal regular underwear, I went straight to Granny Panties. If you're a Costco shopper, you might be familiar with them. They call them the it-sie-bit-sie brand. But there is nothing it-sie or bit-sie about these bad boys. I can pretty much tuck them under my bra (which I still wear, even cancer can't get me out of good boobage support.) I did buy them in cute pink-ish colors. But believe me, even a nice pastel pink hue can't make these look sexy when Chris is looking. The poor man. I'm a bald woman, who wears no make-up, ditched the beautiful jewelry he's given me and I walk around in underwear that looks like a 1920's swim suit. I thought I just should up the game a bit.
I was feeling well this weekend. We decided to go out to a nice dinner. I actually wore pants that were not for yoga or sweating. In fact, I had a whole fun new outfit on, thanks to my dear friend and personal shopper Chris Steltz who works at the Limited. She said I could rock the ankle length print pant (now ankle-length is cool, my whole life I've been wearing ankle length and they called me Floods - also see previous posts). I even put on heels and a WIG! (Still very uncomfortable. When I put it on, I think I spent so much money on these, I should really wear them more. But then I remember instantly why I don't like wearing them. Scratchy and the hair is always poking me in the face. If we're going for Granny Panties style comfort, bald is best.) Then I hit the mirror with my make-up bag and went to town. Putting on my "face" is like riding a bike. Right back into the swing of things. I have this process down pat. The only problem is, it's been so long since I used some of the make-up the shit is all dried up and cruddy. See, now cancer is costing me money in make-up. Gosh, is there nothing cancer won't fuck up? Anyway, I got all dolled up with somewhere to go!
This is a terrible picture. Am I really that wide or did the camera distort that photo? I'm going with, "it's the camera's fault." Also, it looks like Barlie's about to poop and who is that woman on the TV?? We were watching some really annoying shows including Jungle Gold, but I don't know what show that is. Either way. I got dressed up and made Chris take a picture.
The funniest part is I wanted to go to this restaurant we've never been to before. It's hard to get into. So I called and made a reservation, even went online and looked at the menu. Then we walk in and I say to Chris, "Wait, we've been here before. This is not where I wanted to go." Well, too late. Chemo brain took over, messed that one up. But it was nice to be out with my honey. As soon as we got in the car I ripped the wig off and threw it in the backseat and unbuttoned my pants for the ride home because I was so full. Classy as always!
fantastic! you looked beautiful and the OPPOSITE OF WIDE!
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