The Cul-de-Sac

This is perhaps the funniest story ever.

Warning though: remember how a couple of posts back, I mentioned that everything I post is true? That I'm sharing all of this so you get a sense of what cancer is really like. Well, that might not totally be the case here. I might be making some shit up and embellishing a little bit. Full disclosure. This is second hand, but still really good.

Ok. So post-hysterectomy I had some questions. I didn't have a full hysterectomy, Dr. Evans left my ovaries. Otherwise I'd be in full menopause right now and I'd be crying every day from hormones, instead of crying just every other day from good old fashion depression. So ovaries are a plus. But I was confused as to what happened inside. My vagina is fine. ... but without a uterus, it just doesn't lead anywhere. It's a dead end.

My best friend Jackie and I are discussing this development as only best girlfriends can. We cut through the "being proper" parts of the conversation and get right to the nitty gritty. It just ends. The doctor just sewed it up at the end and that was that. You can imagine some of the things the two of us discussed. I won't elaborate here. But we considered it all.

However, the converstation about my vagina didn't stop there. That night in the Duddleston household, Jackie made her loving husband a nice dinner and she and Ben sat down at the table and talked about each other days. (See this is the shit I'm making up. It's color commentary though. Makes the story better. You can envision them at the table, right?) During the conversation over homemade ravioli (maybe), Jackie mentioned her conversation with me.

Picture this: now my renovated vagina is the topic of conversation over dinner between two people who are not me. Jackie explains the conundrum of the dead end. Ben sits and listens, considers the anatomy and then finally comments. "Look, we should really just call it a 'Cul-de-sac.' No one refers to things as a 'dead end' anymore. That makes it sound dirty. A Cul-de-sac is a desired location in real estate. You come in, turn around and head back out. What could be better? Everyone wants a cul-de-sac. Location, location, location."

Jackie just starts laughing. They've been looking at houses and Ben's right. They'd love a Cul-de-sac. Ben said, "See, now Chris has one all to himself." Men. Hysterical. Other people's dinner conversation. Now we call it the Cul-de-sac. Thank you Ben. You and your wife never cease to make me smile. Can't have cancer without a sense of humor.