On A Chemo Cut-Off ... for now

I'm on a break. Like a Ross and Rachel break. The kind where you eventually go back.

There are some common questions associated with a break: why? for how long? what are you doing in the meantime?

Here are the answers: I'm not quite sure, it's out of my medical paygrade: I don't know, several weeks to maybe 2 or 3 months; drinking and getting out of the house as much as possible.

There is talk of giving my bone marrow a break. That will help all my blood levels increase to normal. Robin Roberts from Good Morning America had breast cancer first, then a bone marrow transplant because of all the chemo they gave her. I don't really want to have to do bone marrow after this cancer. So a bone marrow break sounded good.

There is talk of letting the cancer grow until the number is in the hundreds - then re-scanning again to see if we can see it. My numbers the last three weeks were 6, 26, 43. So it's going up - it was always going to go up without chemo. But it's not shooting up, so I guess this is the "wait and see" part.

There is more than talk ... there is significant action toward getting a 3rd, 4th and 5th opinion. It will be a world wind tour for two weeks around Easter. A stop at Duke Medical Center in NC, a swing-by NYC to go to Sloan Kettering, then a quick jaunt to Chicago for Northwestern's Gestational Trophoblastic Disease expert.

If nothing else, it's nice to get out of town. And Chris is coming with me, which is difficult for his work but they've been so helpful and supportive. Chris is my favorite. No matter where we go or what they say, I can do it if he's standing next to me and holding my hand.

In the meantime, I feel like I'm in a little funk. I've been dreading blogging - I feel sad I'm still stringing this shit along. Like enough is a enough. For me and for you poor souls who still read this. I'm blue during the day, but happier when Chris gets home. And now we both crack open a cold beer together. At least that is fun. "So good when it touches the lips." Gotta keep focusing on the positive.