Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad

This is both the title of my favorite children's book by Judith Viorst and how I would like to describe my last few days.

I can not dwell because I'm so tired and in so much stomach distress right now. I just want to check in.

My number dropped again. It was 10 at Halloween. The hcg is now 5.6 - that is spectacular news is no lost on me. In fact it's the only thing that is helping to keep me focused. Most of my other blood work was too low for chemo this Wednesday and I was no at all disappointed.

For three days I literally could not get out of the bed. On day I did, I went to sit in a chair next to Chris. The next thing I know, Chris is leaning over me checking my pulse at my throat. I said, "What happened?" He said, "Did you have a nice sleep?" I legitimately said, "Yes. What was I talking about." "Nothing," he said, "you eyes just up and rolled into the back of your head." These are not good days.

My platelets are down to 11, I've had fluids from Kristin 3 times this week - great story there.

And at 32 years old, I officially lost control of my bowels yesterday morning.  - also a terrible, yet funny and totally embarrassing story there.

Like I said, These are not good days.

Katie took two days of work and drove 5 five hours on a moments notice to get here. These things make all the difference. I think I've done cancer pretty-perky so far. I am much less perky right now. Send perky vibes, like Katie Couric perky.

What Chemo? I Hosted Halloween

Cancer has cancelled more than it's fair share of parties in the last four years. The first was the Gardner's Caroling Party, a decades old tradition that Chris and I missed December 2008. It was extra sad because we were gifted the Velvet Elvis that year and I was too sick to be at the party to receive the great Masterpiece. That's when cancer really starts to piss me off.

The latest party cancer tried to tackle away from me was Halloween. But thanks to some spectacular friends, I was able to enjoy a Halloween Celebration unlike any other. And no offense to all those involved, I hope we never have to have one like that again.

It all started with this:

... a dear friend with a creative gift that she had shipped overnight so it would arrive in time!

This is Deb Smithgall and I with a Cosmopolitan Glass Costume!! It's pink and sparkly and has a lemon rind garnish!! The Smithgall's have always been close to my heart. From the times I interviewed Charlie when he was Mayor, to the day he proclaimed my birthday a Special Day of Recognition in Lancaster City. And then, of course, we can't forget that he set Chris and I up!! Match maker, match maker! Deb has been sending the funniest, cutest cards ... promising hugs and well wishes. They've really gone above and beyond already ... and then this! The costume of the year!!

So I spent Halloween in the hospital. Checked in at 9 am. They accessed my port with no problem this time, so that helps keep my stress level low. The amount of time it takes to get the chemo delivered to the hospital is another problem entirely. Hours, hours, hours. We have yet to figure out why Kristin can do it in 3 minutes and it takes LGH 6 - count 'em; 6 - hours to get the poison up to my room.

But, don't fret. With a Cosmo Costume all is well. The day-shift girls heard I had a costume and knew I was going to pair it with my shiny Louboutins, so I promised to don the outfit before their shift ended. So I was all dolled up with no where to go by 2:30pm. Once the girls oohed and ahhed and laughed with me (they are so fun!) I would lay down in the bed and the wire hoop at the bottom of the "glass" would stick straight up. Had to make sure it wasn't a free show for whoever walked in!

Me and Cally - as a Cat - and Chelsea, who said she looked like a blue M&M while wearing the Chemo protocol scrubs.

So the chemo dripped and dripped and dripped. And you know what? I didn't really notice. I brought candy to give our - Reece's Peanut Butter Cups - and the Trick or Treat was my distribution method. I put them in the urinal hat. It's a treat if I didn't use the urinal thingy, but it's a trick if I tinkled before I put the candy in it! Good luck!

If you build it, they will come. I had a costume and candy ... the next logical step was trick or treaters! My friends did not disappoint! I had three shifts of Halloweenies!! First, the Essis Family and the Carrol Family, all dressed up and full of spirit!




Frankie, Matt, Michael, Julianna and Lauren


Then the infamous Andys! Plus AnneMarie and Abby! And ... Brogan, their service dog!! Also in costume! Barlie wouldn't keep those devil ears on her head for one minute. Molly actually has devil ears under all the soft fur. Brogan cuddled with me on the end of the bed. Plus he made a fun stir on the floor when all the other patients and nurses heard I was harboring a furry friend!



Abby, AnneMarie, Andy (in his Melody wig), Andy and Brogan

But wait, the night wasn't over yet. Drip, drip, drip and still I had more friends! This is the hardcore crew - The Speitels! They hit the streets, filled up their bags and still had energy left to entertain "Mer Bear" as they call me!! They came with smiles and presents and photographs and ... candy!! I've never seen four boys hang out in a hospital room with this crazy girl in her 30's and have so much fun! I would have been full of "Can we go home yet??" But instead, they were full of laughs and funny poses.

Nicholas, Noah, Me and Angie, Colin and Luke in front. Poor Pete isn't in any of the pictures because we make him take them all! We love you Pete!

Nicholas is probably the most reserved of the four boys ... but when you tell him to "Strike A Pose" the kid has his go-to move! We showed them off on the Oncology Floor!

Work it! Work it!

So as you can see, Halloween was no bust. Cancer couldn't take that away! I felt good. My numbers were good. I had a blast all day. I was happy to be surrounded by people who love me. I was full up on Reece's Peanut Butter Cups. I slept like a baby that night. It's all good. I don't think I would have even thought to have fun without a Cosmo Costume. So a special thanks again to the Smithgalls. I have you to thank for my husband ... let's add Cosmo to that list! Happy Halloween!