And The Number Is ....

Well, which one? The good one or the bad one? It's always something.

This Wednesday the hCG was the GOOD NUMBER, dropping from 4.0 to 2.2! I am so happy it dropped. This is the part where I get bitchy: I'm so frustrated that it is painfully slow. It's like creeping it's way down to zero. Ugh, I want it over with so badly.

My progress is really so positive - I know that. I just had a bad taste in my mouth because of the BAD NUMBER. The damn platelets again. Why won't they just cooperate? Your platelets need to be 90 to get chemo. I came in at a resounding 26. Thanks for playing, but that's not high enough to receive treatment.

(When I get to the doctor's office each week, I like to work the room. Say hello to everyone, all the women patients and their cute husbands who are doting on them. I talked to this one women Wednesday. Asked how her numbers were. She said, "Oh gosh, not good. My platelets are so low. They are the lowest they have ever been. I'm nervous." I asked what's her number. She replied, "Ninety-two!" I could tell she was exasperated and I didn't want to pop her drama bubble. So I said nothing. But she asked, "What are yours?" I said, "Today they are 26 but last month they were 6." She shut up pretty quickly. See ... it's all about perspective.)

So while I was thrilled with the 2.2 hCG, I was disappointed in no chemo. I feel like every week I miss now is a week I have to tack on in August. A No Chemo Day is like a Snow Day when you are a kid in school, except without the fun of sledding. And then, when it's nice out at the end of the school year, they sock on these extra days. By that point you can't remember the fun of sledding. All you know is you're sweating to death and want to be in the pool. I want to be in the pool, damn it! We don't even have a pool, but I want in it.

The silver lining (and there's always one) is that without chemo I should be a rock star for Memorial Day Weekend! My mouth is so sore all I'm eating is pastina, apple sauce and ice pops. But you can bet I'm going to party it up for the holiday weekend. We're going to the shore. I might try to gum a hamburger and french fries. I can't wait to sit on the beach (under a hat, a muumuu and a tent because the sun is like kryptonite for me right now). But the soothing sounds of the ocean and the warm sea air is enough to cure anything.

Let's kick off the summer in style and with some positive vibes. And maybe, just maybe, we can end the season with a Cancer-Free Barbecue and a cold cosmopolitan! Cheers!