It's only because we're nearly done that I can cop an attitude. Last week was supposed to be the Cooke Cousin Reunion. We took a weeks vacation time planning to spend it in Aspen with 20 other Cooke/Murrays. Fly fishing, white water rafting, hiking ... all the stuff it's just too cold to do when you hit Aspen in the winter. Would have been great. But when the ring leader comes down with a bad bout of cancer, the plans go to shit. I cancel more vacations than I go on. And that's saying something, because I go on a lot of vacations.
So to salvage the week I made my husband take off, we hit the beach. Let's be honest: not a bad alternative. And we were able to get the Jorgensen Girls to stop by the beach for a bit, so that's an added bonus. But of course, the cancer gods deem chemo necessary. So we drive back to Lancaster, sit for 7 hours for the poison, sleep half of the next day, then try to resume the vacation. I was like a walking zombie on the beach. If you think hauling a cooler, beach chairs, the towels, sunscreen and an umbrella to keep me from burning up like a vampire in daylight is hard on a normal day ... try it after 7 hours of chemo. (I understand I'm complaining about being on the beach. But I believe my current situation allows a modicum of complaining.)
Fast forward to this week. Chemo was scheduled for Tuesday because of the July 4th holiday. Go for bloodwork. Guess what? No chemo. Too sick. Platelets are 20. My nose bleeds if there is a strong wind. Fuckers. Would have been nice to skip last week and go this week. But like all things cancer: YOU HAVE NO CONTROL. Even six months into this, that still seems to bother me. Won't it be a shame if I learn nothing from this illness?
Thanks to the low numbers, my mouth has exploded in sores. The people who don't know I'm going through chemo must think I have Herpes, Hep B and C and the HIV - that's how shitty my mouth looks. No, no, people; I wasn't making out with a homeless IV drug user. I just have cancer and this is how my body responds.
See ... I said I was getting bitchy. I'll go now and find my happy pills and take like 86 of them.
you are allowed to bitch. and Eff the people who think anything about you. who cares? Get better.. bitch all you want..sleep... just get better. We are praying, praying, praying. Glad you got to the beach for a little bit of sun.
ReplyDeletePS I went on a family reunion and since I was the ring leader, let's just say that at times I was wishing I HAD cancelled. Ask Todd - he'll crack you up with the horror of it all!
xoxo,
Dawn
(This is Todd) What horror? So I got in a huge fight with Dawn's bitchy Aunt Bitch (she's a real bitch, BTW), our ipad was stolen from the hotel lobby, Uncle Richard was rushed to the hospital after he almost passed out during dinner from whiskey-induced diabetic shock, and it was 115 degrees outside all weekend. Heck this probably turned out BETTER than most family reunions! At least the steamed crabs at Bo Brooks were good.
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