The stupid hCG went from 7.4 to 10.9 - just enough to be annoying. I panicked two weeks ago when it shot from 4 to 39. So a three point creep to 10 is nothing compared to that. But 10 is not good enough. 10 means there's still cancer. And I am so sick and tired of cancer.
Chemo at the office was fine yesterday. Kristin, and special guests Angie and Marcia are the highlights. I saw my dear friend and chemo buddy, Agnes and she's in need of extra prayers right now. So say one for her in my stead this week. We need to lift her and her family up to the Lord.
I'm trying not to project too far ahead. However, this continued roller coaster of hCG levels is really frustrating. And I don't want to continue to do this up and down for months. I feel like it simply means what we are doing is not working. I think everyone else is like 97% sure I won't die, but when I get nervous, I'm only 85% sure I won't die. And that 15% can be a bitch on a bad day.
I'm still trying to laugh and Mean Cards helped me do that this week. This is a line of greeting cards that are simply mean. I bought 4 of them for friends, so if you get one, it means I love you even though the card is mean. I found this one and bought it for myself.
The words are a little fuzzy, but is says "A lot of us think you're faking." With that picture of the chemo pole and the head hanging low, like he's guilty. I was laughing out loud in the store. This is what I think a lot of people at work think. I'm sure they are like, that bitch is not even sick, she's always been dramatic, she shaved her head and just wanted a solid year off of work. She's a doctor's wife and doesn't need the money anyway, this was just the way she would get out of work rather than quitting like everyone else. So for the people who think that, this card is from me to you!
This is the inside:
It reads: "not me, of course." I feel like this is a card Joe Mitton would send and I would laugh. I kept laughing while I was at the store, Tellus 360, the re-claimed wood store on East King Street. That's where I got the cards. They also had a mean magnet I thought was perfect. It now graces my fridge.
Same stick figure, holding a Martini glass saying "it will make everything all better." I agree and I can't wait to drink one. So good when it touches the lips!!
Hopefully someday soon ....
No comments:
Post a Comment