"How's Your Belly Been?" Well ... Depends.



 

You're Welcome. To everyone who has ever had a poop story, you're welcome. In perhaps the grossest, most humiliating post on this blog (not to mention, in my life), I shared the terrible details of my belly problems. I thought I was the only one.

 

Well, no sooner do I blog about my bowels then people come out of the woodwork. The stories are wild, hilarious, humiliating and raw all at the same time. Friends have shared their darkest moments to let me know I am not alone. They too have shit themselves!

 

Nothing like sharing a terrible story to bring poopy people closer together. Who would have thought the world has such bathroom troubles? Obviously the people at Depends know. They've been making a killing off of our shitty misfortunes. My friends and family were quick and generous to supply me with what I needed depending on how my tummy felt.  

 

Here are the supplies (of which I have some left over. I'm happy at least, I didn't run through both packs and need more!) Marcia picked up the green package. "Protection with Tabs" - you know how maxi pads have wings? Yeah, these are not wings. They mean tabs, like on a child's diaper. Because that's what these are, just for adults. Marsh was right though, they're breakaway, you can get them off quickly when you need to. This was phase one.

 

Then Angie gifted me with the pink package. "Silhouette" - These are more like pull-ups. But instead of having Sponge Bob designs on them, they are beige and more slimming. This is the brand that Lisa Renna wore on the red carpet. You know how girls in their 20's try really hard to hide a panty line by wearing thongs? Women in their 30's who shit themselves where Silhouette to hide the tabs of their Depends. It's just the next natural phase, I guess.

 

                                 

 

I was hiding these in the bottom of my closet since "the incident." I was embarrassed someone would see them. Now, my winter boots are taking up a lot more space and I had to clean house. I think I'm gonna move them to a guest room closet - you know, just in case. But I thought, there's nothing worse than sharing that story. Why not share the solution too. Thanks Depends. You were there for my shitty situation.

 

 Hey, she looks good!