Do you think the Cosmo is mad at me?

I call this blog "Cosmos and Chemo." Friends have been showering me with fun Cosmopolitan related gifts:

The latest - these Cosmo sunglasses from Maureen down at the beach! Hysterical, right? She got the other girls wine glasses but picked Cosmo ones especially for me! Our biggest problem is what kind of tan lines will get on our faces if we where these in the sun. So funny!

So do you think is bad karma that I had MARGARITAS when I found out I was probably cancer free??

 

 

Obviously it's not bad because it's all been going so well. I'm still on Cloud 9. I don't think the prospect of *not* having cancer has really set in yet. It's almost hard to switch your mindset so quickly from being a cancer patient to being a regular person again. I feel like I was in that "fight of my life" mode for so long, I'm almost a little lost right now. I don't know how to identify myself: former cancer patient? person who is well but not yet totally back to normal? girl doesn't give a fuck about much because she's just so happy to be alive? or just simply Meredith? I'm still Meredith, but struggling with the rest of it a bit.

I think going back to work will help bring me around. So much of my identity is wrapped around being Meredith Jorgensen the reporter. I'm hoping resuming that role will help. Plus, I like the routine of work. I need to get up at the same time, see some people other than the two furry creatures who live in my house, have an intelligent conversation, and hopefully affect some change in the Susquehanna Valley ... then come home, put my feet up and have a Cosmo OR a Margarita - or hell, have both! I'm planning to be back at work at the end of August, after a Cancer-Free Party, a vacation with my supportive husband and an All Clear from the Sloan Kettering Doctor after my 3 month CAT Scan in August. I went from having one plan (get cancer-free) to a whole lotta plans (living, living and living it up) really fast.

I can't wait to get started ... no matter what drink I'm drinking!