Nope. I'm mad. And so are my friends ...

So close but yet so far. My number rose from 2.7 to 8.6 - ugh. I am so done with this. I've been planning my future in my head. And then ... back to the drawing board ... still have to figure out how to cure cancer.

All the numbers that were supposed to be high were low. And the one number that's supposed to be low, is up. So no chemo. Like honestly, throw a girl a bone. My platelets were 39. Kristin asked me to get blood re-drawn today to see if the platelets were at least on their way up. If I got a 40, I would be able to get chemo. No go - they were down to 29 today.

Also, the hemoglobin number is a pain in the ass too. That's red blood cells. They should be 12, mine were 5.9 - really low. Today on the re-draw, they were 5.4. Now I need a blood transfusion. That's tomorrow for about 4 - 6 hours. At least I should feel and look better after that. The low red blood cells have left me very short of breath and with throbbing headaches. Plus, I'm a little pale. Nothing some blush can't cure, but it would be nice to have some natural pink in my cheeks. Right now I'm keeping Sephora in business trying to make my ghost face look halfway normal.

My friends, family and neighbors share in my disgust. I sent several people text messages about the low hCG and my frustration. These were some of the responses:

Bastard
That stinks
This is a pain in the blip
WTF!! That sucks!
Shit!
Seriously?
Shit! That's stinks
Ugh indeed!
Shitski!!
Aghhhhhhh (that's me yelling in frustration for u)
Sonovabitch!

You can tell I'm in good company. When I curse, they curse back! When I look at that list of responses it makes me smile. No matter what my numbers are - I have a lot of support!

Hit a Strike Against Cancer!

Here's a little catch-up from like two weeks ago: 

 

When in doubt, pick up your fun nephews and find a cool activity. It was a boring weekend day and I had to get out of the house. Lucky, a local cancer organization, You and Me on a Comeback, was holding a Bowl-a-thon! Winning!

 

Jay, Ben and Alexander are usually up for anything. It was a bonus that Jay wasn't totally weirded out when he realized he wasn't wearing any socks in his cool new Sperry's. He'd have to wear the bowling shoes with naked feet. He did remark though that the man behind the counter did nothing but spritz some fragrant spray in the general area of the shoes and that meant they were "sanitized." No one ended up with Athlete's Foot ... but that might be because you can't call us athletes by the way we bowled!!

 

 

 

With two lanes to bowl on and single digit scores after 5 frames, we decided to ask for bumpers on one lane. Hysterically, even with bumpers we bowled "consistently" - which translates to: 1st roll you get three pins; 2nd roll you throw the ball in that exact spot, where there's now a hole and you get no pins. Net score with bumpers? 3. Ouch.

It was fun to meet new people from the Cancer organization and see some old friends. Adam Aurand and his wife Kristy came to bowl with us and brought their own little bowling ball, Baby Kylar!! I quickly traded holding a bowling ball for holding the bambino! So cute!!

 

 

It was a fun, family outing and supported a good cause. I thought it would be funny if I put spots on my head so it looked like a bowling ball. But I thought Jay would DIE of embarrassment so I held off.

 

 

Couldn't contain myself at home though. No one but Chris and the dogs to laugh at me ... and they do that every day any way. I'd say with all my brains, that bowling ball head is at least a 12 pounder!

You're never too old to be a Twilight Fan

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Friend and News 8 at 6 Producer Extraordinaire Ronda Keiser submitted this Guest Post

November 2008. Young (and not so young) girls were obsessed with the "Twilight" novel series. And for the first time, you could see the drama unfold on the big screen. Meredith and I, not wanted to be left out of the in crowd, started reading the books. We were hooked. We decided to go see the movie. But as you all know, Meredith was fighting cancer the first time then. So it took some time to get there, but we saw the first Twilight movie, together, in one of the last showings at the Kendig Square Movie Theater.

As every new movie came out, we saw them, usually on the first night. We donned our team Edward shirts and we rocked it.

Now, its 2012/2013. The final movie came out. Meredith is fighting cancer again. So we didn't go the first night, but I told her we were going. We had to go. The Twilight movie series was over and to come full circle, we had to see it at Kendig Square. I'm taking it as a sign that Meredith (in her words) is finally kicking cancer for good!

So Sunday, we went to Kendig Square, in a theater filled with young girls and their families, to enjoy the movie. We enjoyed popcorn, floating in butter.

Meredith, thanks for being my "Twilight Tween Buddy."

We totally fit in with the middle schoolers, no?


Ronda, thank YOU for getting me on the Team Edward bandwagon and seeing each movie with me (even though Kristen Stewart still can't act, 5 movies later!) It's been so fun and gosh ... that buttery popcorn is delicious!! xoxo

Groundhog Goodness

It's now been a year since I've been diagnosed with cancer. It would typically be hard as February 2nd approached, but not for me. I have this man, Michael Everhart, and a legion of Groundhogs who have been supporting me and praying for me and rooting for me and I think drinking some beers in my honor for the past year. With all that love, of course I'm gonna survive!

As Groundhog Day 2013 approached, there was no doubt I would be partying at the Slumbering Groundhog Lodge. In fact, this year would be even better ... I could actually go and party instead of having to file reports. Plus, the icing on top was Chris - because it was a Saturday this is the first year he had ever ventured down to the festivities. I knew it would blow his mind: fun, smart, upstanding members of our community, dressing up, drinking well before noon and playing with a stuffed rodent. What's not to love??

I was so moved though when the men paraded through the covered bridge by brigade to the Hibernating Governor and I saw the back of Mike's white coat. He had a sign that said simply <2.0 - I'm sure most people didn't have a clue what that meant. But I know and Chris knows and Michael knows and that's what he's been hoping for for me since last year. It was a shock to see how many people care and how much they care.

 

 

 

 

You know me, never one to shy away from attention - I was equally as excited and flattered when they gave us a shout out from the stage, AKA the Pinnacle of Prognostication. Not to mention that no fewer than 6 Groundhogs asked Chris if he wanted to be part of the organization. Ummm, yes! (Sorry Ladies, boys only. But what I would GIVE to be the first female Groundhog!! What an honor that would be!! Things to work on after curing cancer ...)

It was a bright sunny day. Chris' friends from work, Jill, Heather, Jenae ... all came out to see if Octorara Orphie would see his shadow. No surprise, he did, so 6 more weeks of winter. No problem though; with friends like these, we could party all winter long.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you to the Slumbering Groundhog Lodge and it's families. Your caring is unprecedented and it overwhelms me. I'm so lucky to have such Guardians. Happy Groundhog Day (a little late)! Now here's to 2/2/14!!

2.7 Baby! That's What I'm Talking About!

With such good news, you would think I would have blogged it sooner. It turns out, I have so much to blog about!! I've gone Bowling for Cancer, hit the Groundhog Lodge on Groundhog day, I stopped into work to give them an update. I have a lot to catch up on. But I won't bury the lead ... my numbers are great!! I started the new chemo two weeks ago. Got in one treatment, then took a week off for low blood counts. Then this week, even after missing that week of chemo, I still dropped from 3.4 to 2.7! It's so damn close to 2.0.

I feel so good when the numbers are good. It really is an emotional rollercoaster. It sets the tune for my whole week. And Marcia's too. As my designated Special Guest and Team Cooke Cheerleader, she cheers pretty loud on the good weeks. I put her to work an extra day today when my car wouldn't start and I had to go to the lab. So she rearranged her day to cart my ass all over Lancaster (had to fit a nail appointment in there too!) But maybe all that driving around helped the hCG. When Marcia heard the number, she was over the moon. Everyone was. I call my mom with the number, she's at work and can't talk. I give her the basic info and hang up. She calls back a few minutes later crying tears of joy saying she's so happy! With people like this on your side cancer has no chance!

So, here's the plan: Get bloodwork Wednesday morning next week. Hopefully the number is even better! If all the blood levels are good, I have a short chemo day. Once I get a less than 2, I have to go two more complete cycles - 6 weeks. I'm trying not to count my eggs before they hatch. Let's call it cautiously optimistic. But, my friends, I feel I'm about to kick cancer in the ass, once and for all!

So Close ... 3.4!

Now that we've switched chemotherapies and I don't have to do two days in the hospital, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I'm really trying to make the most of the new schedule. Today, I was heading in for just 1 hour of chemo - can you believe that?? Just an hour. Two weeks ago I was hooked up to the Methotrexate for 24 straight hours plus two other drugs. No more. I'm on the chemo fast track now!!

I planned quite a nice afternoon for myself. Bloodwork at 12:30, lunch with my Special Guest, my wonderful neighbor Jeannette, then a brief stop at the Chemo Lounge for a quick infusion. Arriving at the lab, Cindy and the ladies remarked they had missed me yesterday, Tuesday, my normal bloodwork day. It's nice to know you're loved, especially when the lab techs notice you're missing.

For Week #2, I can get bloodwork on Wednesday just a few hours before the shorter infusion. It's called convenient and I could get used to that. Bloodwork - check. The only snag was that Cindy the tech and Jeannette, an RN, noticed when the needle spot kept bleeding. They said my blood looked "thin." Jeannette described it as "watered down kool-aid." It looked red to me, but what do journalists know?

I was obviously not concerned about blood, just concerned if we would be able to get two loaves of bread at Macaroni Grill for lunch. Priorities, people! Jeannette and I would have licked the salty, greasy goodness off the top of that loaf of bread, but that's not socially acceptable. So we ordered salads and tried to be adults.

When we finally get to the office, I don't even make it down the hallway to the Chemo Lounge before Kristin says, "Your platelets are 22. You can't stay here." Some welcome! It turns out that wasn't the only disqualifier: my red blood cells are 5.9. Let's recap: platelets should be like 90 for chemo. With this new chemo, we can go as low as 50. But 22 is just too damn low. Red blood cells should be 12. Mine were less than half. Numbers in the 5's typically require a blood transfusion. So when Kristin said I would need one, I went into Long Island mode and said, "Whaaaaat?" She then asked Dr. Evans and weaseled me out of it.

The side effect of low red cells is shortness of breath. Jeannette said it was amazing I wasn't fainting every time I stood up with counts that low. I said I did have to run after the garbage man this morning - literally run - and when I caught up to him, right at the bottom of the driveway, mind you, I was huffing and puffing as if I just ran the NYC Marathon. So, yes, I would say I'm experiencing some mild shortness of breath.

In all this confusion and throwing numbers back and forth and talking my way out of a blood transfusion and seeing all my friends in the Lounge, I forgot to ask about THE number. The hCG. Kristin casually says, "Your number is 3.4!" Jeannette and I snapped to attention then started jumping up and down like we just won the Powerball. I nearly forgot to ask what it was ... but was so pleasantly surprised by the results.

Wouldn't it be crazy if this new chemo just nips this in the bud (or butt?) once and for all? All those weeks of up and down and up and down. Let's just cut this cancer at the knees and be done with it so I can go on vacation with my husband and sip cosmos on a white sandy beach somewhere.

3.4 is soooo close to 2.0 - Let's do this!!

"33 and Nearly Cancer-Free"

Another year older, not really any wiser ... just older. It was my 33rd Birthday yesterday and sometimes birthdays wig me out. I had no emotional reaction to this one. The only way I really reflected on it was ... by this time next year I won't have cancer any more. They say it's good to have goals. "Thirty-four and on the Dance Floor" will be my mantra for next year!

Needless to say, many of you - "the village" of people who have been so supportive while I've been sick - sent great birthday wishes! I'm so thankful for the fun and the laughs. I smiled a ton over the weekend enjoying so much birthday cheer. Here's just one example. Chris' awesome Physician Assistant and our friend, Jess, sent this card:

It reads: "A cosmo doesn't blend so well with birthday cake, so the cake may have to go."
I mean, c'mon people, did they make this card just for me?!? Can't you hear my saying that in your head?? "Sooooo ... the cake may have to go."

I'm feeling good (well, for the English sticklers.) It's easy to forget that I just started brand new drugs on Wednesday. In my mind, I treat all this as one big blog of chemo. But there are differences between each drug and I'm interested to see if anything funny starts to crop up because of these. We were with several friends this weekend and I had terrible gas. There's nothing like trying to hold it in all day while you're with friends you love enough not to smoke them out of the house. So I declared after a few hours, "I have terrible gas, it's probably the chemo. I apologize in advance." Someone else said, "I too have terrible gas, it's probably from the beans I ate." I was happy to know we were all on a level playing field.

My mouth hurts. Mommy said it's as if Methotrexate is getting one last stab at making my life miserable before it is gone for good. Methotrexate was the chemo drug that caused the 2 day hospital admission and mucusitis. We've stopped using it now. Although, I've been mostly spared of bad mouth infections, my tongue and inside the sides of my cheeks are killing me right now. Plus, last night swallowing felt like forcing glass shards down my esophagus. After 12 straight hours of sleep, I woke up a happier girl. When in doubt, take a nap. Those are my parting words of wisdom as a newly minted 33 year old.